Zentropy

Surely by now you’ve heard them. Constant radio ads promising a fulfilling job, insane pay and benefits, and a REWARDING CAREER MAKING 50, 60, even 70 THOUSAND DOLLARS IN THE HIGH TECH INDUSTRY!! How do you achieve this? Why, I’m glad you asked, it’s so easy! Just take a few night classes at your local certification mill, and you’re ON YOUR WAY TO A HIGH PAYING MICROSOFT [INSERT TITLE HERE] JOB!

Sense the sarcasm? Perhaps a bit of irony coming from a guy who makes his living developing software on the Microsoft platform? Good. Not only are these ads Rosie O’Donnell-level annoying, they’re also misleading.

The pitch sounds fantastic to the regular 9-5 suit who spends his time filling out TPS reports and playing solitaire, or to the joe without a college degree working a blue collar job. Yes, come to our technology classes, and in six short months you’ll go from being a hack in the whatever industry to a SUPERSTAR making oodles of cash in the technology industry, as a Microsoft Certified [INSERT TITLE HERE].

I’ve got news for you. You’re still going to be a hack, and probably still in the whatever industry.

Why? Well, for starters, certification classes aren’t really designed to teach you real-world applicable skills. They’re designed to get the maximum amount of enrolled students to pass certification exams. They do not teach critical thinking skills, or promote creativity. If you go in expecting to learn how to build a website or network from scratch, you’re going to be disappointed.

Another reason? Just like any other industry, if you don’t have experience, even a little, you’re probably not going to land a job (let alone a high paying one). If you DO get a job, it’s not going to be at a top level. You’ll be starting at the bottom rung just like everyone else. Imagine an employer: “So, I see you’re certified, but have been working at Target for the past 4 years.”, or “Your certification is nice, but why didn’t you finish college?”. The trust factor just won’t be there for the interviewer. Because when it comes right down to it, a certification is just a piece of paper, acknowledging that you can pass tests created by Microsoft (who, incidentally, makes a ton of money charging for these tests). A certification is a nice complement to experience and a college degree, but it is NOT A SUBSTITUTE.

I have a few more problems with these ads.

The inexperienced “graduates” of these certification courses flood the market with their resumes, effectively driving down the salaries. If you’re one of the lucky ones who found a job with no prior experience and only the MCP label attached to your name, being thrust into network administration or development projects responsible for millions of dollars in revenue and productivity is downright scary. Your buffoonery could bring a lawsuit on the company, and cost everyone their jobs.

The ads also make it a point to promote the ‘average salary of a Microsoft Certified Network Administrator’. This number is going to be skewed because of higher cost of living and thus higher salaries on the East & West Coasts, where the majority of technology companies reside. You’re also going to end up with people in the industry who are only there for the money, not because they love tinkering with computers or writing code. There’s a tradeoff for that money….like being on call 24/7, or spending a week troubleshooting a weird network glitch only to find out it was a bad CAT5 cable.

My advice? Get your degree if you don’t have one. The classes are really designed for people like myself who have the experience and want a little icing on their resume cake, while the ads are designed to get money and keep enrollment up. The companies running the classes are under no obligation to actually get you a job. Be prepared to deal with rejection, and take the promises of riches and job fulfillment with a grain of salt.