Zentropy

My father sent me a forwarded email this afternoon about the current credit crisis. For some reason, Baby Boomers tend to think of forwarded emails as bullet-proof factual goldmines (not a shot at you, Pop, just a trend I’ve noticed over the past ten years). This one happened to be an unintentional irony goldmine.

How about this??
A Modest Plan: Not to mention $700 Billion to bail out Wall Street, while mortgaging the future of our children and grandchildren!

Hi Pals,

I’m against the $85 BILLION bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a “We Deserve It” dividend. To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. citizens, aged 18+.

Our population is about 301 million counting every man, woman and child. So, 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. Now, divide 200 million, 18+ adults into $85 billion - that equals $425,000.00 each! Yes, my plan is to give that $425,000 to every adult as a “We Deserve It” dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So, let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. Every person would pay $127,500.00 in ta xes. That sends $25.5 billion right back to Uncle Sam! It also means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife would have $595,000.00!

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00?

• Pay off your mortgage? – housing crisis solved

• Repay college loans? – what a great boost to new grads

• Put away money for college? – it’ll really be there

• Save in a bank? – create money to loan to entrepreneurs

• Buy a new car? – create jobs

• Invest in the market? – capital drives growth

• Pay for your parent’s medical insurance? – health care improves

• Enable D eadbea t Dads to come clean? – or else.

Remember this is for every adult U.S. citizen, 18 and older (including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehmann Brothers and every other company that is cutting back) and of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it! Instead of trickling out a puny $1,000.00 economic incentive.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U.S. citizen!!

As for AIG – liquidate it! Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General! Sell off the real estate! Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

We deserve the money and AIG doesn’t. Sure it’s a crazy idea, but can you imagine the coast-to-coast block party?!

How do you spell Economic Boom? W-e D-e-s-e-r-v-e I-t d-i-v-i-d-e-n-d! I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion “We Deserve It” dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington, D.C..

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh…I feel so much better getting that off my chest.
Kindest personal regards,
Birk (T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic)

Um, $85,000,000,000 / 200,000,000 = $425 per person, not $425,000. This jackass must be working for one of the firms we’re bailing out!